I have spent the past year thinking how tainted I have become, and how much more darkness I shall come to embrace in the future.
The concept of “killing for the sake of justice” gradually became acceptable when before I considered it the ultimate sin, the point of no return. I think to myself, ‘Is this part of growing up? Is innocence just a boon only for children?’
Two weeks ago, they called two Code Blues in the E.R of the hospital I was training in. As one patient’s wife howled for her husband to fight, to keep on living, I wanted to cry with her. I felt for her, but there’s this one nasty thought in the back of my mind. It said, ‘That’s not pain. There’s still hope. I want to see real pain.’
I don’t fear for my sanity, I am perfectly sane. What I fear for, is what my morals would come to as I age. When one by one “childish” dreams and ideals get crushed, where else could I turn?
What else would I deem acceptable in the coming days?
Spontaneous isn’t really spontaneous. Everything is linked, a chain of events that may seem sudden but is actually gradual and progressive, distorted only by our relative view of time. Coincidence is non-existent, it is only our denial of the way of the universe. Things happen for a multitude of reasons, reasons that we don’t always accept, and in so denying we fail to see the real masterpiece of life, the masterpiece that wonderfully blend the pastel and dark colors of the world.
An overwhelming urge to get a job led me to create a WordPress blog. I’m not trying to make a living with blogging, rather I want to get used to blogging, since some of the jobs I want require a WordPress familiarity.
I’m a twenty-year-old “professional”. At least that’s what the status the little plastic card in my wallet gives me, although honestly being without a job I don’t feel worthy being called such.
I consider myself to be a person both ahead and behind of my time. I’m a being of contradictions, light and dark, sane and mad, a dual being existing within a sphere of synchronized realities.
I believe in a Universal Truth that will unite all, though I am nowhere near discovering it. God exists, and so does demons. I strongly disagree with religious divisions. Our political divisions make us miserable enough, people. I strongly advocate world peace, although I’m not beyond killing criminals when they cross that line.
Enough with that. Now to the interesting part. I’m a bookworm from the time I first saw a book. Imagination is my life-blood. Words are my meals.
I’m anime-obssessed from the time of conception. I don’t think being anime-addicted is any different from loving cheesy soap-operas. Anime is the food of complex, imaginative individuals who desire for change, who sees everyday life as both boring and extraordinary, and who sees the great potentials the human race possess.
I’m going to end my introduction by informing anyone who cared to read this far that in this blog I will be posting articles with regards to the hobbies I have mentioned above.